|
OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Friday, October 01, 2004 wow. I feel like such a terrible person.. to be so loved?.. and to not be able to reciprocate that right now. Is something wrong with me?.. that I could be so distant from this? sigh. All I know, is that I feel, and think... this is terrible.. terrible.. terrible.. "how do you tell the emotion of love? I don't think i've ever captured it before. Not in all my writing, never.... i've never felt like this before... is this a new emotion or is it just the same thing with a different appearence? i don't know anymore. I don't think i've ever been ready to accept someone so wholeheartedly in my life. so as the stars go down, as the night air falls just know that there could never be anything so wrong with you that I would turn away. I'm so sorry i'm such a pressure- I don't mean to be. it matters more that your comfortable with me than me ever being with you. I want to be where you crash at the end of these grueling weeks. I will be your weekend, No strings attached. and I swear, though I love you our friendship means more than words can say. I'm so sorry if i've ever been a hassle. I can only hope that you'll come to feel the same. But until then, now and forever more, I'll be your friend. Your friend till the end. I'm so sorry. All I want to do is be where you crash. Relax around me, I Swear. I'll massage your back, your neck. I won't ever push you for more. I swear I swear I swear.... I don't know what to say to you. But this is the most important thing in the world to me. I don't care for anything or anyone more. I don't know if i ever have before? don't ask. I don't want to beg, I won't beg. But just stay here with me tonight. Your simple presense is enough to satisfy. Your comittment would only be a feast... so just stay with me tonight under these stars. Because your being here is all that matters... I won't ever complain or grow tired, I Swear. Wrap my arms around you and fall asleep so weakly. I don't want anything more than this simple thing. So tonight, stay with me. That's all I ask..." Lin (9:44:11 PM): so sweeet *chuckles* ugh .. I don t* (9:44:16 PM): no-shh... Lin (9:44:24 PM): t deserve all that .. man.. t (9:44:50 PM): it doesn't matter what anyone deserves or not-it's honestly how I feel... t (9:45:07 PM): regardless. t (9:45:21 PM): some people get gifts bigger than they deserve all the time, why does it matter? t (9:45:44 PM): i don't really deserve you myself, yet i'm still here. Lin (9:45:49 PM): *shrugs* I just.. I don't know t (9:48:13 PM): I don't know how to reply to that. But I think you DO deserve it... t (9:49:02 PM): it's pure, it's uncomplicated, why ask to explain an emotion you feel? people say love is so complex, it's never been for me... you either do or you don't... t (9:49:50 PM): yet everytime i feel it i question if i ever have before... t (9:51:38 PM): I can tell you that things, people, everything, it's never as complex as people make it out to be... You, i would guess a lot of people are confused by you, but... I've always just known what to do and what not to... the world isn't so complicated-that's the beauty of it. People are entranced by something so simple... t(9:52:55 PM): people want to go and complicate everything, there's no reason to... the world isn't so complicated-that's the beauty of it. People are entranced by something so simple... t (9:52:55 PM): people want to go and complicate everything, there's no reason to... t (9:55:30 PM): it's true i would be flattered if you felt the same, i'm flattered that you even responded like you did... But forcing that on you is just gonna backlash on me. I'd rather you felt comfortable telling me everything... It's simple like this, if something more comes out of it, it does.... But until then i'd rather just be there for you to talk to, to confess everything to-there's no reason to expand on that before everyone involved is ready, and that includes YOU. t (9:57:14 PM): i don't want to be overbearing or overinvolved, you're only as fast as the slowest person in your party. . . . babbled Lin |
