|
OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Sunday, July 20, 2003 Sooo.. Heeeey it's free.. whyyy not.. More crap from 'the stars' ... 'analyzing' me ... and maybe I'll add some commentary... just to get it straight here. hehe. Based upon birth date, location, and time. SECTION I: How Lin Relates to Other People Sun Square Saturn with an orb between 1/2 and 1 degree Your self-esteem is based less upon what you are in your own or others' eyes than on what you do. You may become so compulsive about achievement that you cannot relax into a warm, enduring relationship until you have achieved some success in your career. Umm. Those who know me. This is probably true in some respect. Compulsive? Maybe. Yes? Probably. Haha. Let's just be honest here. Venus Quintile Pluto with an orb of less than 1 degree When it comes to love, you are definitely not casual. You yourself may be surprised at the depths of feeling a close relationship brings to the surface. You love deeply and passionately and do not understand people who are incapable of making lasting commitments. Most definitely. Commitment is key. People who are in their own relationships who seem 'flighty' (or are really ridiculous vocal to give me the impression that they are) really bother me as well. And I really hate being around them. Mars Conjunct Saturn with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees Your emotional needs were not met when you were growing up and there was nothing you could do about it. Even today, you tend not to express anger or pain or resentment except when you are in an infrequent rage. This is a problem in close relationships. Yeah... Sun Square Mars with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees Something in your relationship with your father aroused in you either fear or anger or both. Your relationships with men - personally or professionally - are not comfortable and when you are feeling vulnerable, you can be overly defensive or challenging. Ha. Funny it should mention my father specifically. I always thought there might be some tie to him due to the way I feel in relationships. Not saying this is accurate, but it seems like it could be. Lots of anger.. sometimes fear.. not really fearful of being hurt physically in any way.. but just fearful of his words.. which would secretly (and continue to - but not to the same extent) crush me. I always vocally argue with my manager.. becoming defensive.. always challenging - and he just-so-happens to be the first male to be my supervisor/manager. So in a "professsional" aspect, things are definitely like that. Personally.. it takes a while before I will let down walls.. and even then.. still very defensive/challenging at times. But.. I think I can get over that with time. God knows guys will wait on me to "get over" it though.. or for me to let down walls.. and.. well.. I can't really blame them for giving up or becoming impatient. But those who are patient, haha, either can gain my respect to a great extent. OR.. worse.. and I hate for this to happen.. I'll become annoyed/disinterested with them pursuing 'too much'.. just depends on the person/circumstances though.. .. .. . ahaha... Ky just called. That was funny. "Hello?" "Hey.. how's it going? What're you up to" "Pretty good.. just hanging out.. pretty tired.. just typing some stuff" Then his younger brother.. who has moved to N.H. to study at a private school called... and Ky put me on hold.. then came back.. and he had to hang up on me ;( hehe. I guess no hard feelings. "You mean to tell me I don't come before your brother who you never see?? What!? haha. No juuuust kidding. And I think a lightening bolt is going to fly through my open window. That or I'm going to lose this entire post when the power goes out! Hurray! .. MOVING ON... Sun Sextile Uranus with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees You have a unique view of life and have been fortunate in finding friends and partners with whom you can share it. Your relationships will be most successful when you also have in your life an interest, goal or project which absorbs both of you equally. Probably. Since I'm a workaholic-and-all. Haha. I guess my 'partner' should be too. Nah. Probably the opposite. There needs to 'balance' in life. That is key. Two workaholics = one very unhappy relationship. Or maybe not. Recently a doctor told me doctors marry doctos because they "understand each other's lives." So. Who knows. Venus Sextile Mars with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees Your love nature and your sexual nature are happily in harmony. You're comfortable with your sexual role as you perceive it and rarely go for any period of time without an intimate relationship. You need love, go after it and always manage to find it. This is the only completely wrong part of this analyzation. I've never been good at intimacy... scares me a little.. something I can definitely not 'lead' in or 'pursue'.. I'd have to gently be taught/led and then follow. Haha. But.. I was reading this book the other day.. and that's just not the way it works.. I guess I'd have to make the effort too, somehow.. but, as I'm comfortable with *my* sexual role, I'm not comfortable with sharing it freely. Which, I don't know, that probably comes back to my morals in some respect.. which are fairly high/conservative. Though.. BELOW.. is an accurate statement.. which contradicts this statement.. signalling turmoil/confusion in my mind when it comes to this I guess ;P Venus Sextile Saturn with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees While you may not be emotionally demonstrative or sentimental, you love deeply, lastingly and loyally. You may be strongly drawn to people either much older or much younger than you are. Love, for you, has always entailed an enormous amount of responsibility. Most definitely. Not emotionally demonstrative or sentimental, but when I choose to love... it's very deep, lasting, and loyal. That's why I think I'm very cautious of it. It may be overly dramatic (and I usually can't stand unnecessary drama), but I thnik my heart would not merely be broken if I chose to "love" and then for it to not work out. For me, things are felt very deeply. I already care for people in general on a very 'safe'/but deep emotional level, and love is just the next step beyond that 'safe' barrier. You do have to be responsible with love, because it's not only yourself which you're hand over to be cared for, but it's making a commitment to care for that other person to the same degree as well. I can't stand girls/guys who involve themselves in so many "fake relationships" because sometimes the relationship really never meant that much to them, but to the other person, they meant the world. And that's just not fair when things aren't mutual and one person is just stringing the other along. Poor Ky, for example, his feelings for his ex-g/f were extremely strong, whereas she, apparently, couldn't care less where the relationship was headed. Ky went through serious depression for a while.. whereas this other girl was apparently seeing other guys, moved on quickly.. and all is fine and probably good if she's able to move on quickly.. I'm just saying.. it's not fair to the person who is hurt when feelings aren't mutual.. and thus irresponsible jumping into something too quickly.... BUT... there's this paper I have that my mother gave me today.. with little bits of wisdom... and one of them says : "Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings." So anyway. how that relates... you have to give love sometime, to receive it.. and I guess that involves taking a risk... and sometimes.. how are you to know it's not going to 'workout'? So essentially.. I have no idea what I'm talking about, and probably never will until I stop analyzing it ("you find love right when you least expect it".. isn't that what everyone says?) ... so... I'll post those 'bits of wisdom' later. . . . babbled Lin |
