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OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Thursday, June 26, 2003 "Missing My Cue" is what I call it when a guy approaches or attempts to make some sort of further-connection/conversation with me, and when his attempt soon comes to a quick halt on my end as I shyly do nothing to reciprocate an interest. Such was the situation tonight. There's this guy who has started working for the same sales company (though I should immediately remember the "no dating within the company"-policy.. but forgetting that for a moment..) and I'll admit he's .. interesting .. to me. Alright, so the truth of the matter is, it's easier to tell now when a guy seems 'interested' in *me*, and so I'm not sure if my interest is a result of his interest, or if I'm genuinely interested as well. I'm cautious about entering into relationships just for the sake of having someone "interested" in me - almost only for attention, to be honest. Everyone likes to be admired, and though I'm cautious about the type of attention I keep, I think there's a subconscious tendency for people to keep around those people who give them attention.. merely for.. attention. Does that make sense? No not even to me really. But I know what I mean. It's like flirting with that person you would never want a sincere relationship with. I think people do this simply because they like the game of trying to see who's 'admiration' they can win for that very moment. Not only am I cautious about my own intentions as far as seeking "admiration" goes, but I'm cautious about those people who "play the game" of trying to win temporary admiration. I'm sure it could be considered an "uptight"-almost-snobby quality that I have, but I would never consider dating someone *seriously* who I felt flirted with other girls in any remote sense - and guys who play the 'temporary-flirt-game,' even if they mean nothing 'serious' by it and would only want something serious with me - I can't accept it. *shrug* This is why I broke up with my last boyfriend. And that was a while ago, I'll admit.. I haven't really found anyone since him who would fill anything beyond the "image" of simply someone-to-be-there-with-you-at-social-outtings.. and of course how it's just sometimes nice to say, "my boyfriend.." ... but beyond that? .... there was a time when I was younger when I just had boyfriends-galore.. and after having gone through that phase.. I just realized... that's not something I want.. I don't want a guywho simply serves to shower me with gifts and nice notes and the 'status quo' that can come with it.. far from what I want. If I am ever to not be single again, it will be because there is someone who I can confide in completely. It will be because someone wants to be a part of my dreams/hopes/plans, and I would, alternatively, want to be a part of theirs. It will be for wanting to share affection. It will be because I admire their character and how I feel they could compliment my own character. It will be for so many other things rather than for the sake of simply saying "my boyfriend." And. Anyway. Back to "missing my cue." I'll call it, the "tragedy of possibilities." Suffice to say I just miss my cue all of the time for guys who may very-well be the one I could confide in.. share my thoughts with... etc. etc.. .. and tonight. I definitely did miss my cue. Upon meeting me, as I walked through the doors, he immediately jumped to calling me by a nickname.. as if he has known me forever. And that's one way to be forward with me in the least direct sense. It's a good 'technique' guys can use on me. ;) I love it when guys call me by my full name, purposefully, but I further love it when they have enough confidence to shorten my name. And I *further* love it when they can type/write my name -correctly-! Derek is a good example here. Hehe. I'll just use a short conversation I had with him tonight : Derek [10:37 PM]: rachael rocks. Lin [10:37 PM]: haha. oh do I? Or... are you trying to tell me... .. you've met another Rachael :( Lin [10:37 PM]: *smiles* heya youuu Derek [10:38 PM]: you're the only one Derek [10:38 PM]: only rachael, of course Lin [10:38 PM]: haha, I like the sound of that ;D *winks* Lin [10:39 PM]: so how've ya been? Derek [10:39 PM]: awesome rachael.. you dun even kno=) Derek [10:39 PM]: rach, i gotta go... i just wanted to say hi Lin [10:39 PM]: haha. I don't. You're practically a stranger to me now! .. so whatcha been up to? Lin [10:39 PM]: ah.. alright stranger. Lin [10:40 PM]: night :P Derek [10:40 PM]: bye rach. =) --- Derek unintentially rocks my world here by using my name repeatedly. Short and long version. See how he switches it up too. He has mastered his 'approach'. Haha. And granted, sometimes people who don't use my name a lot get by fine too. It just depends on the person, and no matter the 'approach' or no-approach-but-simple-conversation.. it must feel like it's coming naturally from the person. Or that the approach is natural to the person's character, rather. (continued below) . . . babbled Lin |
