|
OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Thursday, April 10, 2003 Making me Smile Keeping this anonymous because I didn't ask him if I could put this in here, but it's things like this that I need to remember sometimes.. and if he reads this.. well.. you know who you are.. and.. I just want to say thank you.. especially for never giving up on me, even though you might consider *me* the one to not be giving up on you here.. really, I feel you've done the same for me. AFriend (9:28:42 PM): pour the acid in my eyes, burn the pictures, In my mind, take, everything away from me. AFriend (9:28:47 PM): because you don't exist, if I don't see. AFriend (9:29:51 PM): Heh. AFriend (9:29:52 PM): sorry AFriend (9:29:57 PM): :pokes: you're just kind of idle. AFriend (9:30:07 PM): or seem it Lin (9:31:22 PM): *nod* kind of am.. I dunno.. just a lot of things on my mind Lin (9:31:32 PM): kind of feeling a little 'out of it' AFriend (9:31:34 PM): wanna empty? i had a rough day. Lin (9:31:36 PM): or something *shrug* AFriend (9:31:41 PM): I probably told you already AFriend (9:31:46 PM): it's just. ugh. Not worth it. AFriend (9:32:01 PM): shouldn't of been swimming in waters I considered 2nd rate anyways. Lin (9:32:09 PM): *nod* AFriend (9:32:10 PM): my own fault. Lin (9:32:40 PM): *smiles slightly* well that's at least..a -really- mature comment for you to make Lin (9:32:54 PM): *shrug* sometimes everyone elses worries get to me.. on top of my own.. Lin (9:33:15 PM): and then I'm just.. '*sigh*' ... *shrug* though usually this doesn't happen.. sometimes it does obviously AFriend (9:33:22 PM): what happened? Lin (9:33:22 PM): just as you went through with your friend ___ I'm sure AFriend (9:33:44 PM): :smiles effortedly: Lin (9:34:25 PM): just feeling.. I don't know.. 'down' as a result of everyone else who's feeling down, when I'm already kind of headed that way.. but then to top things off there are other people who aren't feeling their best either and that just makes things more difficult for me Lin (9:34:43 PM): I dunno *chuckles slightly* blame it on me being an 'aquarius' AFriend (9:35:02 PM): you're a genuinely optimistic person lin. I Don't understand fully myself. Lin (9:35:18 PM): not that I really believe in that stuff, but from descriptions I've read.. it's fairly accurate in analyzing certain characteristics about myself AFriend (9:35:27 PM): You're cheery but not in an annoying way sappy preppie teen princess way. AFriend (9:35:40 PM): haha Lin (9:35:49 PM): *laugh slightly* .. hmm.. I'll take that as a compliment? :P or something AFriend (9:35:54 PM): You should. AFriend (9:36:06 PM): You cheer me up sometimes just being like that Lin (9:37:32 PM): *smiles* well, thanks.. I don't really understand how I'm 'like that'.. but.. *smiles again* thanks nonetheless. AFriend (9:37:58 PM): haha AFriend (9:38:28 PM): there was just that one morning i remember i was grumpy or something and i said hey and you were just. I don't know. perky I guess. And I dunno. you seemed so cheery to see me. AFriend (9:38:30 PM): it's like. AFriend (9:38:35 PM): it's corny to say things likethis. AFriend (9:38:40 PM): let's stop. AFriend (9:38:51 PM): :Chuckles: AFriend (9:39:01 PM): suffice it to say when i'm in a bad mood you're one of the first people I'd run to. AFriend (9:39:06 PM): for a multitude of reasons. AFriend (9:39:43 PM): even though sometimes your advice doesn't really help much, your listening and taking an optmistic stance, does. Lin (9:39:53 PM): aw *hugs* *laughs*... alright.. AFriend (9:39:54 PM): Even when i'm being complacent. AFriend (9:40:01 PM): :hugs back: AFriend (9:40:14 PM): You've put up with me through a lot of stupid moves. AFriend (9:40:16 PM): a lot. AFriend (9:40:28 PM): and remained unjudgemental. AFriend (9:40:49 PM): I don't KNOW anyone else like you. I don't evne know how to describe it. AFriend (9:41:04 PM): It's like usually cheery people seem fake and superficial along with being cheery AFriend (9:41:12 PM): it's like they have to blind themselves to something to get there AFriend (9:41:16 PM): you, you're genuine. AFriend (9:41:54 PM): it's REALLY hard to look at all the strife and things wrong with the world and still wake up in the morning and say what a nice day. AFriend (9:41:59 PM): even when its sunny. AFriend (9:42:15 PM): I relate though. Lin (9:42:20 PM): hum. wow. well.. thank you.. not that I'm always cheery, obviously.. *shrug* today being a perfect example.. but.. yeah I don't know what to say (I've mentioned to you how I don't take compliments well, right?).. AFriend (9:42:40 PM): If you've noticed the people i've been running to when things go wrong and actually talking to. Lin (9:43:00 PM): *nod* though it's not like I always wake up like that, you realize that right? I try my best.. but obviously, I don't know, I'm optimistic, but sad about things at the same time.. but.. I don't know.. try to keep things positive *shrug* AFriend (9:43:04 PM): I tend to choose people of your nature. AFriend (9:43:14 PM): Well. AFriend (9:43:15 PM): Heh. AFriend (9:43:22 PM): I know realisticly you're not always like that lin. AFriend (9:43:38 PM): i guess i just want you to know I appericate you. AFriend (9:43:40 PM): :chuckles: Lin (9:43:43 PM): *laughs slightly* alright.. I don't know.. AFriend (9:43:48 PM): It's corny to say AFriend (9:44:04 PM): anything practically AFriend (9:44:17 PM): When I am down and i am blueee...all I have to do, is close my eyes and think of you...and the world is new. AFriend (9:44:23 PM): haha. AFriend (9:44:26 PM): No seriously. Lin (9:44:33 PM): *chuckles* silly AFriend (9:44:42 PM): I know 2 or 3 people that are like AFriend (9:44:57 PM): Actually nice caring and happy people but aren't superfical. AFriend (9:45:10 PM): compared to like 824872782 prep teen princesses. AFriend (9:45:11 PM): you know. AFriend (9:45:30 PM): it's rare to meet someone like that who listens to dashboard confessional AFriend (9:45:57 PM): haha AFriend (9:46:05 PM): It'd be impossible to flirt with you, I hope you realize that. Lin (9:46:24 PM): *laughs slightly* why's that? AFriend (9:46:29 PM): you make it hard to do AFriend (9:46:30 PM): =( Lin (9:46:44 PM): *winces slightly* I know AFriend (9:47:08 PM): No seriously. AFriend (9:47:14 PM): You're probably like part of my better support group. AFriend (9:47:22 PM): then you've got the crap friends that are like AFriend (9:47:25 PM): man that sucks, everything sucks. AFriend (9:47:33 PM): lets go jump off the golden gate bridge together. AFriend (9:47:50 PM): i don't need support like that Lin (9:49:11 PM): *laughs slightly* "support" like that? Yeah I'd hope not. *grin* [inserts piece of a convo. Here] AFriend (9:50:19 PM): AFriend: cuz my other friends are like his-friend: oh AFriend: man you're right! everything sucks! let's jump off the golden gate bridge! YEAH! POWER TO THE PEOPEL! Lin (9:52:45 PM): wait.. let's back up here.. haha.. just because I'm.. well.. 'curious'... Lin (9:53:33 PM): when you say it would be "impossible to flirt with me"... I realize this in one perspective, because I'm kind of 'distant'? .. sometimes?.. I don't know.. you said.. "I hope you realize that".. and I don't fully realize that I think.. AFriend (9:53:56 PM): Haha I just meant AFriend (9:54:05 PM): that you push compliments away and devoid them AFriend (9:54:11 PM): and try to tone them down AFriend (9:54:12 PM): it's like AFriend (9:54:18 PM): If I were to tell you AFriend (9:54:25 PM): well at least you're not a dork like David over there AFriend (9:54:33 PM): you'd be like Lin (9:54:36 PM): *laughs slightly* ah yes, I see. AFriend (9:54:40 PM): Wait a minute, I Am a dork! how can you say i'm not! Lin (9:54:48 PM): *laughs* yeah AFriend (9:55:35 PM): She is prefect in that fucked up way that all the magazines seem to wanna know about these days... Lin (9:55:45 PM): argh. I don't know why I can't accept compliments, now that I think of it... it seems like a VERY insecure characteristic.. but at the same time I don't FEEL that insecure at all Lin (9:56:40 PM): *shrugs slightly* oh well, I've already analyzed this to no-end probably.. so.. I just won't go back to it yet again … AFriend (10:05:38 PM): if you don't have this song AFriend (10:05:39 PM): GET It Lin (10:05:42 PM): I'm running off for a little.. have some stuff to finish :/ Lin (10:05:46 PM): which one? AFriend (10:05:49 PM): finch - what it is to burn Lin (10:06:02 PM): hm.. I think I might have that one.. but I'll check Lin (10:06:05 PM): byee *wave* AFriend (10:06:07 PM): wave . . . babbled Lin |
