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OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Monday, July 29, 2002 bad grammar.. 'paraphrasing' (even though it doesn't seem that way in some parts).. definitely disoriented memories.. memories nonetheless The Last night in Seattle - Party - Ang and I bust out with our "musical suckers" (saved from being bought at FAO Schwartz while on day-outting).. Lisa & Lisa (yes, two different ones) bust out dancing.. they are perfect club-duo-partner-girls.. pizza!.. card games (spoons).. pete - alex - crashing out in my dorm room - Ang and I aim thin-mint balls into their half-open-sleeping mouths.. Lisa crashes out on my bed in the craziest/uncomfortable position.. I attempt to pack with-no-sleep at 5:30 in the morning.. Ang attempts to keep me awake by making small-talk :P (but we opted to throw mint-balls at their mouths instead of packing..).. my roomate is the last person to arrive from downstairs (note she is a write-a-holic and she was downstairs writing notes to put in everyones' bags - see posts below about that).. she looks shocked when she sees two guys crashed-out in our room (and one other girl and then Ang).. haha.. but the guys being in the room at all was totally against regulation.. I don't think she cared though?.. too tired to care. ang coming to say 'bye' 1 hr. after I finally fall asleep (6 a.m.).. she leaves at 7.. I have noooo recollection of me talking to her and saying 'I'll talk to you later.. bye..".. I must have been sleep-talking, but she swears she said bye and that I was talking to her before she left ;) I was so out of it... Seattle Trip-Day 3 guys (alex, peter, Matt) 5 girls (Christine, me, Ang, Lisa, Col) Awesome day for me... everyone got along wonderfully.. very flexible with where we went and stuck together (I love it when it happens like that) shopping.. starbucks..eating on patio overlooking lake.. went to the top of the space needle (I almost set off the alarm door.. took a bag home from the gift shop as a 'souveneir') .. I get to know Matt better (awesome guy.. reminds me of my other friend who I officially 'met' - Matt - before school ended.. are not all "Matt"s awesome people?) .. I ate salmon with rice (yum) ... we visited the psychic (Christine).. I decided not to get psychic reading (scary stuff).. visited the fish market.. fish being thrown across a mass of people.. walked down a bazillion stairs to get to the lake/water.. gelly fish in water (pictures).. walked up a bazillion stairs... space needle was awesome (pictures coming from Matt).. Matt let me use his camera to take ANY pictures I wanted! awesome guy.. we were the last (and late) to the bus Mow Card Game frustrating.. Peter is perfect Mow.. Guys from Boulder all are hilarious... attracted to two particular.. lose interest in one as he is very dedicated to his gf.. the other is mysterious/quiet/frustrating to me.. the other becomes good friends with another girl I met at the thing (frustrating part :P I'm a jealous girl I 'spose.. even though I really have no reason to be since I'll never see him again afterwards..) .. he hardly ever talked to me at the thing.. only first met in the elevator before the conference started (saw there that he has very pretty eyes :) ) ... I loved it when he talked.. very cute... I couldn't tell what the heck he thought of me... I felt like we played eye-tag throughout the entire thing, but then I think I was just dreaming that up due to my wishful-thinking?.. haha.. although.. I do remember.. even though we never talked at all, and you would think he wouldn't have much care about me... one time we were taking a group photo on stairs.. some of us were on the side of the stairs (me desperately trying to hang onto the side of the stairs to be in the picture - I'm a weakling)... and finally I got so tired of hanging that I stepped down from the rail I was hanging onto while the masses-of-cameras-still-shot-away... and when I stepped down (kind of out of the picture) he shouted out.. "wait!.. 'Lin'!.. get back in the picture!"... (he was noticing??..) ...er..hmmm.. ;D lol.. it was nothing. and he never talked to me directly more than that one time. (**note: I would take this out now that it's being posted weeks after the actual trip because it really does not mean much to me anymore.. the point here: I thought he was "attractive" .. and when guys who I find attractive might consider me interesting/attractive as well.. that's cool to me.. ha.. and what girl/guy wouldn't think the same thing in a similar situation? However, if I were to look back on this post a year from now, I guarantee I will have forgot about him because he wasn't much anything else than 'looks' since I didn't really get to know him.. and therefore.. 'blah'.. looks mean nothing in the big picture of who I find 'attractive' .. but.. I thought I'd leave it in anyway since it *was* something I remembered to note those several weeks back.. ha.. "shallowness" I know? ) Guys from Boulder (continued) like I already said, were all very hilarious. one particular was 'the main' jokester.. very funny guy... most of them got in trouble one-point throughout it because they were being very obnoxious (?.. I didn't really think so.. but then at some times I did.. I think Alex was getting very annoyed at least..) ... I had some major smile-lines after coming away from this trip.. gosh, I smile too much I swear.. they're kind of going away now with some rest-of-the-mouth.. one of the guys laughed SO loud and often couldn't stop.. you'd think it would be annoying, but his laugh was very contagious... and the fact that he has pretty bad asthma.. heehee.. he'd always say like "oh God don't make me laugh or you're going to kill me with an asthma attack".. I can't explain.. it was funny.. him and the other girl who would snort when she laughed.. and it wasn't just a once-in-a-while snorting.. I mean.. this girl always snorted when she laughed.. hearing the two of them together at a funny-moment was hilarious in itself. Class Consciousness Simulation We did this one 'simulation' in one of the 'sessions' where we were split up into groups, and it soon became apparent that the groups were not at all equal when it came to opportunities/benefits/treatment. Heh.. we had to build a town out of index cards using tape, only we were allowed to build this 'town' within the amount of space we had (which was marked off by tape). Along with this 'task', the 'moderators' of this simulation acted as landlords, lenders (for more index cards, tape, etc), judge, police, and jail-keepers. It sounds like a 'make believe' game (the kind you play when you're 8?) when in writing, but it was really great. Some people really hated it - explanation - I was in the dirt-poor group. We tried to build our town as best we could with the little space/supplies we were given (by the way.. if you stepped out of your 'region' then you were sent to jail or fined).. heh.. a lot of our people were purposefully sent to jail repeatedly because there simply was not enough space for them to be in the region why we built. We tried asking other groups - who were not being punished for stupid reasons and were getting tooons of supplies.. all that they needed - for some help.. if they could lend us some materials.. but noooooo.. they were all too greedy... and so we were stuck with a 'task', heh, and we all soon became extremely frustrated. lol... eh.. I'm kind of the rebellious type sometimes.. I don't mind chaoticness if the time calls for it.. in my opinion it makes things more fun (I think that partly comes with me being an 'aquarius' ;P .. ha.. I seriously am an aquarius, in most descriptions I've read, in every way.. even though I don't believe in how they come up with their behavioral/personality explanations: i.e. "the stars") .. anyway.. yeah.. things became extremely chaotic.. and I was loving every minute of it. I know a lot of other people were pissed off - maybe because their groups were being tantalized in every direction from my group.. we were secretly stealing their materials... at one point we decided "Godzilla" might have to come step on their stupid index cities... we were really really frustrated and at the point where we didn't have anything to lose. The thing is.. the other groups were so GREEDY with everything they had! Heh.. and not only greedy, but they literally started to look down upon us and flaunt everything they had right in front of us. Besides the frustration.. I really loved how my group wouldn't take the BS which was going on.. where we were being treated so differently and not getting anything accomplished because all of the moderators called 'fines' on us for everything and were ALWAYS sending us to jail for no reason. I never got sent to jail, surprisingly, because I was definitely one of the culprits responsible for stealing the 'picket fence' made out of index cards which surrounded the "rich city".. lol.. it was so great. One minute they had a picket fence.. they looked away for three seconds.. I swiped all of the index cards.. they would look back and be pissed because they couldn't tell who stole their index cards... haha.. while my group began to make a pleasant stash of cards under out butts to use secretly. I am really happy I was fortunate enough to get in the 'poor group' for this simulation because it reeeally gave me some genuine perspective, I think, on what society is truly like. A lot of times the poor steal because the rich are so damn greedy (the poor have nothing to lose and are usually at their last option for survival).. and particular groups (in this case, the poor) are discriminated against by those in law-making/policing positions that sometimes make things feel hopeless and extremely unfair for the group who does not seem to have any advantages.. which makes them really angry and upset against society in general. These are simply assumptions I am making based on the simulation, but assumptions I feel could very-well be very reflective of society.. but different, of course, at the same time. It definitely gave me a more personal perspective on the issue of discrimination in which I can say I have a better feeling of what it is like to truly be discriminated against. Other Simulations I don't want to say the key term which related all of these simulations together for the reason that this is published online and I don't really want search engines to find this based on the key term + other key terms I have already mentioned. Actually, I can say this one: it was a leadership simulation.. Everyone was blindfolded... we were then guided to a rope-area in which we were 'supposed to find our way out'. As we all walked around, bumping into and grabbing at each other, the 'moderators' would say "there is a way out of this course.. if you need help.. raise your hand" ... I must have gone around that rope area at least 10 times.. running into things.. people.. trees.. fire hydrants ;D.. heh.. it didn't help when the moderators would start telling us "..3 people have made their way out.. if you need help.. raise your hand"... I didn't want to be the last person out.. so finally I said outloud (but nobody was around me to hear).. "argh! maybe the whole point of this thing is to admit I'm wrong/need help!.." then I raised my hand.. sure enough.... it was kind of sad watching the people who would go around.. and around.. and around... obviously knowing that they were going around in circles.. but I'm not sure if they had too much pride or what? .. it's hard too.. because as you're blindfolded.. other people aren't (who have made it out).. and laugh when someone, who is blindfolded, does something stupid.. heh.. so you really become frustrated inside the rope, blindfolded, especially when people start laughing. The exercise/simulation really meant a lot to me personally because I've always wondered about myself - to what extent I would try to do everything on my own. This taught me that, although I didn't want to raise my hand and ask for help, that I will when I feel like I am stuck or want out of a bad/sticky situation... iow.. I am not too proud to ask for help, heh, and I've wondered to myself before if maybe I were.. but I think this whole exercise proved otherwise. Everything was really great, also, in preparing to send us off to college. I didn't realize how geared it was toward the preparation of 'independence' until I actually arrived there and saw everything which was taking place. Col There is another particular special friend of mine who I met at Seattle who I became pretty good friends with - I'll call her Col. She was veeeery negative at times, and not too happy to be there, but I simply thought she was great because of this. She wasn't negative to the point of where it was annoying, but she kind of helped me balance my positiveness with her negativeness. ha.. this is making no sense I think. Sometimes I hold a lot of 'negative' things I'm feeling on the inside, and when someone, like this girl, has no problem about vocalizing her complaints.. it makes me feel better/laugh because I certainly won't do it, but at least someone else is. She wasn't the 'complaining' type negative... the 'sarcastic' type.. and that's what made her hilarious to me. Every dinner we ate ice cream with cocopuffs on top.. mmm.. that was so great... two new-types of combos I learned to enjoy at this trip: icecream with cocopuffs... and salad with ranch dressing and goldfish on top. Mmmm. ;) ... by the way.. the food, in general, was pretty horrible. I'll never forget Col, and I really hope to keep in touch with her in the future. Heh.. it is extremely extremely unfortunant, still, to me, that we ended on a bad note. We were getting along great the entire week until the very last hours. The night of the party - she was trying to tell me a story.. it was so loud in the room in which she was talking to me that I could hardly concentrate, but I was still listening... some girls behind me (The Lisas..) were dancing, and it sounded like they were going to come step on me so I turned around... when I did that Col flipped on me... she got very angry and said "nevermind you're not even listening anyway.." .. and she got up and left. At first I was extremely surprised and thinking it was unfair for her to flip-out on me like this, but looking back on it more, I hate when people seem like they're ignoring me when I'm talking too... and so maybe she was justified in being so pissy at me.. I don't blame her, iow. I'm just more sorry that I wasn't listening when she was obviously trying to tell me a story which was important to her. I only hope that doesn't effect the way she views me as a person from that overall week.. because I know that entire week we were enjoying each other's company.. yes, she was negative, but she was also a great person to talk, laugh, and hang out with. "michael jordan of street ball" (did I already post this..?) it was 'rec time' and I was really feeling like playing some basketball. I had overheard these guys talking about how they were going to play a game of basketball at rec time and I thought it would be fun and good exercise. I asked them if they would mind if I joined them, and they enthusiastically invited me to come play with them. I thought my roomate was going to come down and join me, so I figured I wouldn't feel too out of place being the only girl playing with these guys (my roomate never did come..) . I did have fun playing, but it's always a little awkward to play with the guys because they're constantly asking if I'm "OK" after I get bumped even the slightest. heh, I was actually the one scoring the most points on my team at one point in the game and one guy on my team commented that I was "the michael jordan of the team"... heehee.. he reminded me of that comment on a note he later dropped in my bag claiming that I was the 'michael jordan of street ball' *note: we had bags up on a wall where people would write notes and drop them in your bag*... just being nice I think :P .. everyone was good on the teams. sometimes I think I should have played basketball in high school at least, but oh well.. never did... it's just something that I somehow have a (slight?) 'knack' at.. getting the ball in the hoop at least 60%-75% of the time I think (those exact figures from playing with my dad in La Jolla where we took numerous rounds of counting how many shots we made out of ____ total. lol.. my dad's a nerd though.. he has to beat my average before we go home). Online-Introducees? Alex introduced me to Lisa and Ang - in an online chat - the week before we actually met. It was kind of funny when I was talking to them and suddenly I said.. "wait.. Lisa.. Ang?.. are you the two girls I was talking to online??" and sure enough :P I could tell who-was-who in real life simply by their personality online.. yep, their personality matched their typing-styles online. heehee. (I'm telling you.. I seriously have this knack at telling people's personalities irl simply by the way they type to me online..) .. I can't think of anything else at the moment... . . . babbled Lin |
