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OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Saturday, June 01, 2002 shooooorter I went into a lengthy explanation about my piano competition today in my other blog. heh.. to make it short, I thought I had no "realistic chance" at even coming close to winning any place in the advanced solo division. This was my first competition ever - first major performance where I was judged (oh, excepting the city talent show a couple years back where I took 2nd.. that was the only other thing).. anyway... I'm glad I didn't take off to Phoenix with my friends as planned after I performed, because I did win. :/ You'd think I'd be happy about that... but my reaction when my mom first told me my piano teacher called and told me I won? "Noooo! I can't win!!" ... because this means.. tomorrow I will have to play again as part of the "winners recital." Playing in front of everyone was hard enough on me... and now I have to do it all over again... I felt relieved when it was over, because I made minor mistakes, but I got through it.. that's my worst fear.. not being able to get through the pieces.. because I've done that times before.. where I start re-thinking things in a song while playing just to come and realize during the performance that I'm feeling completely lost and from there it feels like hell trying to get through the piece (but that doesn't happen often considering I don't like to perform in front of people often). Crap.. this is turning out to be long.. anyway, I won, playing on a stage in an auditorium where some pretty famous musicians have performed before.. I feel both honored and scared about tomorrow. We'll see. Just pray I get through tomorrow. I'm not sure what place I won.. or if I win anything yet? All I know is that I was selected as "one of the three winners." I didn't bother sticking around until they announced the winners because I was sure I hadn't won... blah... craziness.. . . . babbled Lin |
