|
OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Tuesday, April 02, 2002 re-post taken from my other blog.. heh, omitting the beginning.. this is about my decision to go to Pepperdine.. since I haven't ever officially announced it yet in this blog. Here's a picture too. :) --- ..In a similar topic, my admissions counselor at Pepperdine is great! I don't even care if he can find me the extra financial aid he says he will try to (though it would be nice), but he has just been genuinely awesome from everything to my interview, admittance, and now with trying to make it a smooth transition for me to attend. Heh, it's really funny that Pepperdine ended up being the university I picked... everything about Pepperdine has been fate/God. We were driving by Pepperdine after looking at many universities in California, I was burnt out from all of this college-viewing, heh, and as we were driving by Pepperdine my parents asked.. "Do you want to go take a look at the University?".. The University wasn't on the list for us to see, and so I said flatly/frustrated, "No.".. about three seconds before passing up the University something told me I had to see the University.. heh.. so suddenly I said.. "Fine!.. Turn!!"... and next thing I know, we were headed up to see the campus. It just-so-happened that an admissions counselor hadn't left yet (even though practically everyone had left their job already), and he spoke forever with myself and my family about the University. Heh, even after his talk I still wasn't sure I wanted to attend Pepperdine... "A Christian college.. maybe too conservative.. I definitely don't want to be around all Christians.." ... so Pepperdine went to the back of my mind. Heh.. about a year went by.. I took a tour on the east coast, saw about 7-9 different colleges/universities.. none really appealed to me. Another half a year passed by and admissions time came around. I applied to mostly places on the west coast because I didn't really like the east coast, and Pepperdine suddenly started to seem more appealing to me. Heh.. the first University I heard from was Pepperdine.. extremely happy because it's really tough to get in.. but I still had to wait around for another 3 months to hear back from every school I applied to. Finally, on April 1st, I had heard back from every school and all financial aid offers were in.. all offering excellent financial aid, all offering better financial aid than Pepperdine.. ironically. I was forced to make a decision on April 1st because ASU decided they were going to take away some major scholarships if I didn't notify them if I was attending or not. After thinking, considering, thinking.. thinking thinking thinking.. I realized Pepperdine is what I have always wanted, ironically it is the toughest (but not my much) for me to afford, but I think it comes down to having faith.. and this is exactly what God wanted... it's really funny.. looking at it all. He has given me everything.. every option and the means to go, heh, but in my heart I want the one that would require me to not have it so easy. The night I had to decide I kind of had a revelation. It's this way for a reason. "Am I going to go with a University that has already offered me every means (mainly money) to attend.. private universities offering to pay everything.. or am I going to go where my heart tells me I should be going?.. Am I going to have more faith that, although I don't have all of the money right now to attend as *nicely* as I would like to..debt-free.. that God will provide everything I need in the future?" Heh.. money is a huge issue with me.. maybe it shouldn't be, but it has been, so for me to decide to go to the University that isn't currently offering me the *best* deal.. that's taking a lot of faith on my part to go with where I feel God is telling me to go. I don't think I believe "God wants me to go here" either because it's a Christian University.. I mean, I don't think God necessarily thinks Christian Universities are where everyone should be.. heh.. and I've been careful to not let the religious side of me take control of where I feel I should be going, but to allow God to guide me where I should go.. heh, and it hasn't been easy, but finally I feel in complete peace about my decision... "So this is how it's supposed to be.." type of thing. I'm happy to be going, of course a little scared, but I'm not scared about money.. and that's what I find great.. with as worried I was about money.. suddenly I feel as if it's all going to be ok because I'm going where God wants me to be going. This may sound a little strange, but all of it is true.. I can't explain it to anyone (who isn't a Christian or someone who hasn't experienced a personal relationship led by faith, not sight). I guess it can be described as love? (though I shouldn't use that because I don't think I've ever been in-love.. heh.. so how could I truly say?..maybe I have been.. or I could be, but I won't let go.. ahh, getting off topic).. but at least what I think love should be like. It's a feeling inside.. where you just know it.. in this case, I just feel I know that this is where I should be going. God, please don't let finding a husband be as difficult as this was. lol. ;) . . . babbled Lin |
