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OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Tuesday, January 01, 2002 soooooo.. it's a New Year. :) It's my graduation year!!! Woohoo!! Hehe.. I can't believe the big 2 0 0 2 is finally here for me. A lot of times I just sit down, doing nothing, and think to myself about.. well.. how I can't believe I'm currently *sitting* -wherever- at -whatever time- and how I used to think about -this current day- when I was only 7 or 8 years old with my best friend Michelle. Heh. It seemed like it would be forever back then until now, but it has really just flown by.. and to think that my future in 10 years is probably going to be the same. I can't believe everything I have accomplished, and honestly, that's the thing which befuddles me the most. I never dreamed when I was young of doing everything I have done, and then in middle school I suddenly had a passionate urge to just work my butt off in school and do well, heh, but I never imagined it would go to the extreme in high school where I'm currently sitting now.. 1st in my class.. in my high school. It's crazy, it's wonderful, it's confusing, it's astonishing.. heh.. I just don't know what to make of it. When I was a freshman, I knew that I wanted to be 1st in my class... and why?.. I have no idea... and what gave me the strength to pull it off? It's beyond me. How far I have come since my freshman year, and to be staring straight at what I only dreamed about four years ago; it seemed like it would be forever until graduation, heh, but here I am.. only five months away from taking on the world as an independent person. Being 1st in my class really doesn't give me much esteem besides the fact that it was a goal I made four years ago, a tough one, one that could falter at any time should I get off track or too tired.. heh.. but I've made it... and not only made it, but I've made it among others who were always pushing me to what I thought were my "limits" as they pressed to be standing in the same spot; however :) .. only one stands at 1st at this time, with another particular person right on my tail - only one tenth away from holding the same gpa as me. The point for me is not to have won over others - my goal has never been to step or hold people back from obtaining their highest potential - but the utmost reward for me is to be able to tell myself .. "you did it.. you had a dream, and you reached it". THAT, beyond everything else, makes me feel great, because I know what I've overcome (hell at times), and I know how I've grown, and I know that I have the strength (and every piece of credit for my strength goes to God) to do what I put my mind to. This was a long-term goal, and never once did I doubt myself when other opposition would tell me to turn back. well. *smiles slightly* 2002, and I'm going to be graduating in what will go by like a matter of minutes. What does my future hold? I have no idea, but I'm excited. :) Ah.. the wonders of diaries (a total disregard for grammar/spelling).. g'night :) . . . babbled Lin |
