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OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Wednesday, November 21, 2001 Lately life is pointless. Heh. That's a really sad outlook I know, but I can't help but analyze my own life lately.. and notice how pointless it honestly really is. I can only hope that maybe it isn't.. maybe I'm here because I'm helping someone else out in some great way that I don't understand or can't imagine, but, if not, then I really don't know a lot of purpose about things. I wish I knew if I was helping someone out there. I understand "we have to love/help ourselves before we can really love/help others", but I think I've done too much for myself. I've done so much for myself, crammed so much in, that I've forgotten about a lot of important things that I want in my life... that might really matter should the world end today. And with this thought, I sat down with a piece of paper and a pencil and started writing down things which are constantly on my mind, things which I constantly wish I was doing but am not.. wish I.. - read more - could compose better songs on the piano - could put better lyrics to the songs I write - knew how to play the guitar - had already developed givemeguidance.com - was helping people through givemeguidance.com - knew how to develop amazing websites - knew someone who could teach/wanted to teach me how to develop better websites - knew someone who could at least show me how to develop amazing graphics - didn't have to ask people to help me - had more time to teach myself how to make better websites/graphics - didn't procrastinate - knew where I wanted to go to college - had finished all my applications - didn't need scholarship money - had been in love - knew what love is supposed to be like - knew if I'll find love - got more sleep - wasn't so shy - could somehow end this list with a final wish.... nope that wasn't the list I wrote.. heh.. but I just started typing, and then realized I could go on forever, so I just stopped. :) . . . babbled Lin |
