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OrientedDis.. Disoriented. |
Friday, August 17, 2001 I'm horribly bored. bleh. I just realized that I forgot to do my little "report" about the whole *week-thing-in-California-program-thing* (don't want to say it's name in-case a search is done on the program and this blog comes up) thing went. Heh.. I got half way through the typing of it and then I had to leave to Baltimore to meet my aunt. Maybe later I'll post it. ugh. my luck is really just horrible though, honestly. A lot of times I wish I had a best friend who was a guy - sure I have great friends who are guys, but not like "best friend".. I mean, things can be awkward.. I just wish I had a guy to talk about anything on my mind with.. without ever feeling awkward about it. Guys at my school are.. idiots..nice..dumb..super-intelligent.. but none I can really "connect" with. Somehow I meet the "right type of guy" at these programs though..but.. well my luck sucks.. because, I meet them at "these programs"... mind you these "programs" bring a certain "select" from "all-over" places. *sigh* I hate talking about this sh*t though, because, dang it, I mean, really at my age.. nothing really comes from these relationships... I'm not marrying them, and sure we talk, but then why the need to "find someone".. is this even making sense? Anyway. I don't know. I'll just say it.. I'm missing Jared.. missing him so bad. heh. sad he lives in California though.. met him at the program.. and we just really bonded.. he was really an awesome guy. ooo *swoons slightly laughing* and he's sooo intelligent, super-funny, and cute.. everything at the same time.. and, I don't know, it was just neat.. because, well I don't want to say anything sounding too "self-confident" because I'm not entirely sure.. but out of everyone who was there, all the other girls, I felt special around him. *shrug*.. not special because I was around "*gasp* him!".. lol, no not like that.. special because.. well.. *shrugs again* I can't really explain it... bleeeh! Such a horrible topic anyway. I hate sounding like I'm meeting guys here-and-there.. because really I'm not, I hate it.. I know I hate guys who are like that with girls... that's probably why I try to stay as far away from that "player role" as possible. Eeeeewck. I can't STAND guys who are players. . . . babbled Lin |
